Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Just Leave Me Alone

Ok, I am dealing pretty well with Daegen's death, I mean, I'm not sitting in a dark room crying, or wanting to slit my wrists or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't have bad days. I am at peace, yet, sometimes I want to question whether or not God really knows what He's if somehow, I had a better plan...but anyone who knows me knows I'm not much of a planner.

Here are just a few things that have irritated me, well-meaning people can really say the stupidest things sometimes:

1. You can always have another baby. (As if to say, Sorry you ruined your favorite shirt, you can always go to Old Navy and get another one...)

2. You're young, it's not too late to try again. (Oops, maybe when you're older, and have more life experience this baby thing might work out for ya.)

3. You need to get out and meet some new people, it will do ya good. (I have no translation for this one, but I just want to say: You know what? Shut up. I'm going through something very emotional and difficult right now, and really the last thing I want to do, is be that social fun-loving person that I normally am...not that I want to be a recluse, but it's been just a few months, I'm still processing so much, and just so you know, I have a fabulous support system of friends that I already have, I don't need to meet anyone new right now.... so back the hell off and let me grieve the way I need to!)

4. Well, you should be glad he's in a better place. (I want to look at them and say "Oh yes, you're right, I'm thrilled, because when I got pregnant, it was my hope and desire to never get to experience my child." Yes, I know he is in a better place, but that doesn't mean I don't miss him, and that I didn't want him to be a daily part of our lives...this comment I hear way too often, and I know it's supposed to be comforting, but to be honest, it makes me want to punch the person in the face.)

5. You should pray to God about how you're feeling. (Um, duh.......)

That's all I have to say for right now, and I don't mean to come across so hateful, but really, if you know someone who is struggling with infant or child loss, or infertility, or whatever, sometimes, not saying anything, and just being there with a hug is the best you can do.